My Heart and Other Black Holes

Finished My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga.  I received a copy from the publisher.

Summary (from Goodreads):

“Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.

Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.”

Oh, this book.  First off, I love everything about it.  I love Aysel and Roman (together and separately), and I love their families and I love how Aysel even managed to make physics interesting and accessible to me (I do not have a science brain).

Ultimately, this reminded me of Butter by Erin Jade Lange, which is also suicide on a deadline.  As the book progressed, I got increasingly tense, waiting to see what happened. (No spoilers here.)

This is also one of the best descriptions of depression I’ve ever read.  I am prone to melancholy, but I have no problem getting out of bed and going about my daily activities (whether I want to or not).  Obviously it’s hard to understand things that you don’t experience, you know? But reading this book, I totally got it.  (And it’s horrible.)

Highly, highly recommended.

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