Come On, Maryland!

If all goes well, in a few months Maryland will be the first state where the voters pass gay marriage.  Our state legislature passed it and the governor signed it into law, but the opponents got enough signatures to let the voters decide.  Fortunately, we are a blue state and according to the polls, 54% of the population here wants gay marriage to stay.

I try to remember that most of the people who are against it aren’t bad people.  Articles like this help.  But at the same time, it’s hard.  I know that there is a world of difference between the people who are opposed because they genuinely believe it’s a sin and the people who—like the Family Research Council—say that gay people are disgusting and molest kids and are more likely to have STDs and drug and alcohol problems.

And I generally don’t take even the derogatory comments personally, because it’s not like they’re talking about me. 

Except they ARE.  Because that’s what I wish people (on both sides) would get.  You’re talking about people.  And if you have to resort to name calling, you’ve already lost the argument and the moral high ground. 

I’m currently completely single but the closer same-sex marriage comes to a reality here in my home state, the more I think about maybe getting married.  And the unfortunate thing is that a lot of my friends and acquaintances are conservative and I’m pretty sure most of them are anti-gay marriage.  The thing I keep thinking about now is this: can someone really be your friend if they don’t think you deserve to get married? 

Because honestly, I don’t think they can be.  I think that they’re acquaintances at best.  Because how do you really like someone if, on some level, you’re holding yourself above them?  (And you can say “love the sinner, hate the sin” all you want, but what you’re really doing is saying that someone is less than you because you’re gay.  Maybe not “separate water fountains” less than but less than nonetheless.)

If I ever do get married, I’m sad that some of the people I considered friends won’t show up.  And then I remember that I will be surrounded by the people who genuinely love me.  That helps.